Saturday, December 22, 2012

Bizarre - People Who Want Healthy Arms And Legs Removed


By Randy Dotinga
HealthScout
http://www.freep.com
6-7-1a
At any given moment, a small number of Americans are searching for a surgeon willing to cut off their perfectly healthy limbs.
These men and women suffer from apotemnophilia, one of the most bizarre disorders in the annals of psychology, and they want to undergo amputations in order to "feel whole."
"You have this foreign body and you want to get rid of it," said one man who found a doctor in Scotland willing to remove his right leg.
But should such surgery even be allowed?
"It just flies in the face of everything that medicine holds dear," said Stacy Running, a San Diego assistant district attorney who successfully brought murder charges against an unlicensed surgeon who botched a leg amputation on an 80-year-old man with the disease three years ago and let the man die of gangrene.
Added Arthur Caplan, director of the University of Pennsylvania's Center for Bioethics, "It seems indisputably ga-ga nuts to sit and reasonably talk back and forth about whether this should be done and where we are going to do it."
Though some recent high-profile cases have captured the media's attention, apotemnophilia is not a new disorder.
Medical experts have reported cases of amputation obsession since the 1860s, said Richard Bruno, a New Jersey psychophysiologist who specializes in brain-body disorders and is one of the few people in the world who have extensively studied apotemnophilia.
No one knows how many people are obsessed with amputation. However, there are Web sites devoted to the subject. One is named after the Venus de Milo statue.
Bruno has identified three groups within the larger community of people obsessed with amputation:
"Pretenders" use wheelchairs, crutches and other devices to make people think they are disabled.
"Devotees" are sexually attracted to people with amputations and disabled people, and will often search for them on the Internet.
"Wannabes," who get the most attention, live for the removal of their healthy limbs.
Usually, people with the disorder are men and they want one leg or both cut off, Bruno said. However, there are also female sufferers. They include Corinne, a California woman who refused to give her real name. She wants her legs removed.
"For me, sexuality is being comfortable with my body," she said. "Inside, I feel my legs don't belong to me and shouldn't be there. There's just an overwhelming sense of despair sometimes.
The cause of apotemnophilia isn't clear. John Money, a psychologist and sexuality expert at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, gave the disorder its name in 1977 and declared that people with the disorder have a sexual fetish centered on amputated limbs.
Apotemnophilia has also been linked to obsessive-compulsive disorder and homosexuality.
Some people with apotemnophilia say their obsession has nothing to do with sex; they say it's a body-image disorder that can be cured only through amputation.
Taking a different tack, Bruno suggests that people with the disorder desperately seek attention and love from others.
"What these people really want is to be accepted," he said. "They feel they are unlovable and want to be loved."
Speculation dismissed
But many people obsessed with amputation heatedly dismiss Bruno's theory.
Gregg Furth, a New York City child psychologist who suffers from apotemnophilia, said the disorder revolves around feeling like a complete person.
"It's about becoming whole, not becoming disabled," he said, adding that people with the obsession "feel there's an alien aspect of their body."
Furth told a San Diego courtroom in 1999 that he first began obsessing about amputation when he was 4 or 5 years old. He's now in his mid-50s
His search for a cure -- amputation -- ultimately led him to John Ronald Brown, an underground doctor in San Diego. The 77-year-old Brown lacked a license to practice medicine.
Furth and an 80-year-old friend, Philip Bondy, who also had apotemnophilia, traveled from New York to San Diego in 1998, both hoping to have Brown perform their amputations in Tijuana, Mexico. But Furth backed out.
Bondy went ahead and had his left leg removed. Brown left him to recover in a Holiday Inn across the border in a San Diego suburb, where he died a few days later of gangrene.
A jury convicted Brown of second-degree murder
Further resurfaced in the news last year when he found a doctor in Scotland who was willing to amputate his right leg. The doctor had previously amputated the limbs of two other people with apotemnophilia.
But the Scottish news media picked up on the plan, and the hospital where the operation was to take place quickly banned it.
Caplan, one of the top medical ethicists in the United States, said apotemnophilia is clearly a medical disorder, and can't be cured by giving in to the disease.
"It's like saying I'm a schizophrenic and I hear voices, so I want the doctors to communicate with my demons to exorcise them," he said.
Bruno said people with apotemnophilia often live hellish lives.
"I feel terrible for them," Bruno said. "There are just far more questions than answers about the disorder, and unfortunately, many of these questions may be unanswerable. We may never know why these guys want what they want."
Link to the article: http://rense.com/general11/arms.htm

Friday, December 21, 2012

Takato Yamamoto







Book Review: Exquisite Corspe


Title: Exquiste Corpse
Author: Poppy Z. Brite
Copyright Date: 1996
Genre: Psychological Horror
Review by: Seth Ryan
Andrew Compton is a man who finds art in murder. He kill twenty three men before being caught by a neighbor and being sentenced to life in prison. He's given a chance to escape when he is diagnosed with HIV. He fakes his own death and then heads to America where he plans on continuing his art. While he is there he encounters another serial killer named Jay Bryne. While Andrew sleeps with the corpses of he loves, Jay has another way of fulfilling his desires and he shows Andrew just how to do it. The two find they have a common prey, a runaway Vietnamese boy named Tran. There is also Tran's ex-boyfriend Luke who has is a radio host. They all have issues in the novel and as they meet each other things begin to unravel and in the end it really is amazing book that you can't put down.
 There is so much imagery in this, an example of it being:
The heat of freshly exposed organs wafted up at him. Jay lowered his face into the visceral stink, and the stew of blood and shit and secret gases, and the innards' rare perfume.
From Andrew describing how he cut his victims up to him illustrating death from his perspective. There is lot of figurative language, angst, sex, and murder is if you're under eighteen than this isn't for you. This book is un-apologetically morbid and in every sense of the phrase and I fell in love with Poppy z. Brite because of it. She is not afraid of being morbid, not afraid of writing about Aids, Cannibalism,  and Mass murder in the same book. The dark humor in this was also funny as hell. This is one of my favorite lines from Luke:
Goddamn RIGHT I got fucked, you got fucked, everyone who ever got fucked...got fucked! You tested negative last week? Congratulations! You don't have to worry about it again for another six months! doesn't that just that a load off your chest? Doesn't that just gladden your heart?
The book talks some serious things and handles them in an amazing way. Not only that but it's not trying to judge anyone who is like this. It's not trying to anything but entertain and that is one reason I love this book so much.
I first found this book in the library when I was looking for fiction with cannibalism (yes I have queer hobbies). I was super happy that it was a gay kinda love story too. I don't want to take too much away from the book's awesomeness so I'll just shut the fuck the up and show you where to find the author's websitebuy the book and get reading.
I really hope you give this book a try and get reading!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Room Without Windows


By Seth Ryan
____________________
Liquid darkness swam around him
No sordid sight did find him
He let his lover bind him
In the room without windows

The rope bit his skin
He managed to maintain a grin
In pain he may have been
But his pride was on the line
Their bodies intertwined
Like the tendrils of a vine
His blood was the colour of sweet wine
In the room without windows

His kissed his skin
And hidden within, he knew the boy
He once had been
In the closet bound by fear and chains
Wearing his pain like grass stains
But his Agony was red
It dragged him to bed
Breathing into him misery and woe
In that room without windows

With nowhere left to go
And nothing left to show
He let him inside to the deepest part of him
His heart throbbed with methodical rhythm of rain
Even then more kept pouring
His love kept soaring in
The room without windows

Deeper, deeper he cried
As he lied on the frigid floor
Hands in fists, tears flooded his eyes
Body shivering wet with gore
The cuts on his skin puckered like lips longing for a kiss
And on his wrist he cared his lover’s name

He stabbed him viciously with the will
To turn his love to the desire to kill
His precious love so delicate it hurt
Like a burnt offering
He sacrificed his most precious gem
To them who dare to call his feelings fake
To say his existence is a mistake
And with no other direction to take
In the room without windows

He sought love but found none
In the dry desert under an unforgiving sun
They clung to each other even after they were done
In the room without windows
____________________

Monday, December 17, 2012

My Experience


My name is Seth Ryan. I’m 18 years and I live in New Jersey. I’m a trans-male and have known for a while now. I am attracted to organs, blood and love anything and everything morbid. I like the idea of self-mutilation and sadomasochism. I enjoy seeing people in pain and getting hurt. However I also love people, which is hard to balance out with the love of pain. I love life and others living. I’m not the kind of sadist who wants people to die and think everyone is below them. I’m just happy when people are feeling uncomfortable and are in physical pain. When someone is bleeding or chained up or gagged I feel good inside. It turns me on. I also like the idea of someone being cut open and having their organs exposed while they’re still functioning.
It started off as a curiosity and then as a desire to find out and then as something sexy and erotic. I imagine intestines like sausages in my hands, and me rolling them in my mouth. I think of a human stomach sitting in my hand. I can feel the warmth, the softness of it. I can’t imagine the smell though. I've seen pictures of dead bodies, mutilated bodies and it doesn't make it disgusted at all. I find corpses adorable. The smell though of rotting flesh is horrid. I’m attracted by pictures.
When it comes to fetishes, I’m open to almost anything. I won’t do golden showers or scat. I won’t do animal play or age play. Everything I've described up until know is just fantasies. I don’t intend to act anything out. I haven’t acted anything out anyways—I’m still a virgin. There are things that I've not told anyone at all, and some things that I've only told a few. There was a time when I fell in love with my family members. I had a crush on my cousin, sister and mother. I wanted to beat my sister and/or kill. Of course I didn’t do those things. In fact my sister is right in front of me. I love her too much to have let my sick thoughts get the best of me. However that’s not it. I had dreams of rape where I was violated by beasts. I also had dreams of sex before I was told about it, but that’s another story.
During my eighteen years I cut myself only a few times, but never deep enough to die or be close to death. Even so I really want to. However I've been told that even if I don’t intend to die I could, so I hold back. I've also had fantasies about hammering nails into areas in faceless people, typing people up, cutting off limbs and stitching pattern into people’s skin.
Thank Satan I've never done anyone this, but I know that I can write about this. I was thinking I can publish it too. My parents don't know I write about it and I don't plan on telling them right now or for a while, but I hope one day to tell them everything. I'm in my last year of high school. I'm going to community college next year and I plan on studying a LOT! I love school and learning and literature. I just want to take in all the education I can and give back to the community, write to my hearts content and travel to Asia. These feelings I have aren't holding me back if I don't let them. They can be managed and taken care of. I may not be able to get rid of them, but I can write the feelings out.
For me, sharing these bad feelings with others will only help people realize the life isn't a primrose path and that there are those who deal with these feelings. I also think that there are those who are unable to express these feeling through writing and by seeing someone else's work they may not feel so alone anymore. That there are other's who feel the same. Perhaps can bond with those. Well I haven't found that person yet, but I may...no I will.
~Seth R.

Welcome


Welcome to Darker Side of Love. This is a site for adults with fetishes, paraphilia and the find entertainment, socialize and express their feelings. Please respect each other and do not judge not matter what the case may be. Feel free to submit a piece of work, or share some experience or advice for everyone to see. You may remain anonymous if you would like. However if you wish to share your name it will be placed with your piece or story so you can get the credit you deserve. Everything you need to know in terms of submitting artwork/literature or personal experiences will be on the contact page. There are guidelines for each type of submission so please take a look at those before submitting anything. Thank you.
There are a few segments that will take place over each month. The schedule will look a little something like this:
Day
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Subject
X
Personal Stories
X
X
X
X
X
Prose/Poetry
X
X
X
X
X
Review
X
X
X
X
X
Visual Arts/Videos
You may submit you piece any time before the day that it is due. I will only be able to pick out one. However if a lot of people submit their piece, I will keep extra to post the following month. Don’t worry, if it fits the guidelines, you will see piece on the blog. Since it’s just me here for the time being, I won’t be able to do everything I’d like to at first, but rest assured when I have other authors and monitors on here there will be more frequent posts. Please be patient for now, thank you.
~Seth Ryan